Ok.So you are Tam Bhram , female and are 27 years old, and single. Given the ways and tendencies of your generation it seems pretty normal, but leave it to the parents to get hyper about it. Since my 25th birthday, my folks have been bugging me day and night to get married. My happily hitched friends and classmates , and Asha aunty’s daughter who gave birth to triplets although she was 2 years younger, were definitely not helping! Leave it to my mom, who thanks to the moms in reel life has enuf strategies of emotional backmail.
“You know, Kunju’s daughter Bama has become a grand mother, I dont know when I will be able to hold my first grandchild in my arms . . ”
“I am not getting any younger, when are you going to get married!”
“Get married when appa and me are in proper state of health!”
Aaargh , aargh! After hearing enough violins and flutes in the background [not to mention shehnaais] I agreed to get hitched. To face the guillitone.
Friend #1,2, .. . n: “Good! Glad you made the right choice, you really need someone in your life, after all career is not everything!” . .
Humph!
Well, the only thought that strikes me now, is whether i should tell my folks about Him. I can already imagine the reactions from my family members. . .
Dad: What nonsense is this! IS this what I sent you to the states for? Against Amma’s wishes! [Reaches out for the hunting rifle mounted on the wall]
Amma: [Violins and Shehnai music in the background] Shiva shiva … Why did I live to see this day?
Younger Bro: U actually found someone? YOU??? Enna koduma saravanan!
Ok, lets rule that option out for now. Shall we?
As I sat out on the thinnai outside my house, Appa called me in. He was seated on the giant teakwood swing in our living room. “Come here kutti, sit beside me.” I dutifully sat next to him. Appa looked at me with pride. “You have no idea how happy we are to see this phase of your life!” He affectionately patted my head. I smiled at him.
“I have shortlisted 3 candidates fit to be kings for my kutti! Now, cmon kutti. You have no idea how hyper amma is about this whole event.Her everyday conversation with your chitti revolves around nothing but this! The first guy is a … the second guy is a . . . You want to see the pictures?”
“Appa, anyone you chose for me will be perfect. I have never done anything against your will, and never will.”
Appa looked a little dissappointed.
I hated that look on his face. So I smiled, and mustered a non existant enthusiasm when I asked, “Who’s the 3rd bakra? 😉 ”
Appa laughed. “The 3rd bakra is Sambasivan, Kicha mama’s son. HE is also a big shot like you, Us Paddipu and working there also, nearby where you live!”, he thrust the photograph on my eyes, literally. And then, enters Amma, with a wicked grin on her face. Oh No. That grin usually means I am going to be forced to do something I detest, something i will refuse, something tat Appa and Amma will gang up and force me to do, with megaserial style emotional blackmail and something i will end up doing anyway! Sheesh . . .
“I just got off the phone with Mrs.Kicha, Sambu is in town!”
Oh good lord!
“We’ve decided that you both should meet tonight for dinner, to get to know each other 😉 ”
How thoughtful.
“Appaa! I just came from the US, have you guys NOT heard of Jetlag?”
Appa grimaced, “Kutti, you came a week ago!”
Aargh, wrong timing and most importantly, wrong line of defense 😐
Called up a friend to crib about the [yeeech] blind date, only to get teased all the more. Something that my female relatives have been doing on an installment basis. But it turned out to be more of a grandmaster style conversation, where she did a rapid fire of questions, for which I had no answers, not to mention interest for.
“Oh wowie! Photo paarthia? Handsome aa irukaana?”
“What are you planning to wear?? Whatever you are wearing, leave your hair open!”
“Are you excited? I am!!”
“We knew your time would come soon!”
“You are not one bit excited, are you? 😐 ”
I sniggered on the other side of the phone. Pays to be resistant to nonsensical teasing. Of course it seems nonsensical since i am on the recieving end and that i have taken the same line of action many many times before.I looked sadly at the clock. It was 5 pm.
After a 2 hour struggle for power, that would put WWE to shame, I emerged the victor in ousting my brother from the computer. Phew! Logged in, finally after a week, to check mails. After replying to my official mails, I logged into my personal mail id.
My eyes were decieving me, Right?
It was a mail. A mail from Him!
“Hey, Listen. This mail may seem rather short for my usual standards. 🙂 And I also know that we’ve not been chatting very often. I had taken a sabbatical to decide some things for my life, to set somethings straight. But that doesnt mean I have not been reading your mails. I have read all of them, every single one. Your back in Chennai right?
I reached this place a week before. Could not inform ya bcoz mom was sick and i had to rush back to know she was ok. I am still here, and will be for another month or so. This is not one of those apology mails, bcoz I believe I deserve a sound thrashing, and I know for a fact that you think I do too. So .. er .. you know what? Give this thrashing to me in person. I will be waiting at Snowdown for you, from 7:30 pm onwards, armed with a
giant bar of Toblerone as my only weapon of defense. 😀 Will divulge details in person. Please do show up. Need to talk loads.”
Oh great!
Him and a meeting with a potential husband, could life get any worse! My eyes quickly went to the bottom right of the screen, where the clock screamed out “7:10”!
Egad!
The phone rang, at that very minute. Amma rushed to pick it up.
“Hello … Aamaam … sollungo … Oh is it, parava illai, the dinner will be at 9:00? Anyways that will give her more time to get ready! Hahaha , yes will inform her! .. Kutti?? Your ‘date’ has been pushed to 2 hrs from now, the groom has gone to meet a long lost friend, will pick you up from the house at 9pm, is that ok?”
I did not wait to respond.
I fumbled for my wallet and scooty keys and rushed to the door, hearing my mom’s voice fade away in the background and the ignition of my vehicle. I was fighting the wave of squeamishness, but the thrill had come up to my throat. I was not even able to think out loud!
My Mind had numbed out. It was not deducing the usual main and worst case scenarios it always did.
Crap!
Stuck in traffic, with adrenaline pumping in my veins.
My horror knew no bounds when i looked at myself from a car’s window glass. Lookin as unkempt as anyone possibly could, my pony tail was barely holding my tresses, and i was still in the faded tracks and Tee that i wore in the morning. It’s too late to back and change. There is too much at stake to lose here.
I finally reached the place at 7:50. It looked just the same as before, yet tonight it seemed to glow with a beautiful , pure and almost scary shimmer. I looked up at the all too familiar billboard and then my gaze led to the sky above. It was a full moon, and the stars lit up the black velvet sky. Not too bad for a city considered to be an astronomer’s nightmare. 5 minutes and plenty of deep breaths later, I walked in to Snowdown, the manager at the desk giving me a look of recognition and a welcoming smile.
“Uncle, the usual.”
“Looks like someone else has already ordered for you, ma’am.” He winked.
Aah.
I saw one solitary shadow of a person seated on the last row of the right extreme of the icecream parlor. It was dim lit and so I could not see his face, I saw 2 bowls of ice cream waiting at table too. My heart wanted to rush to the table yet my legs firmly refused to flich even an inch! A struggle of a walk ensued, which had me walking a few paces and then dutifully, I stopped and stared.
At the visible distance I saw him get up and walk towards me. Oh my god! I felt my eyes go wide open as the man with the Motley Crew T-shirt walked right up to me, holding the giant toblerone bar like a fighting staff. He towered over me, but looked down and grinned.
I could only stare.
“Had you come a little late, you’d have a bowl of milkshake waiting for you instead, you nutter! I honestly doubt if you will be able to eat this up after ice-cream. Oh that reminds me , where shall we head for dinner , Miss Mahadevan? Are you angry i pushed our dinner a bit?”
I found myself grinning ear to ear at Sambasivan Krishnamurthi.
“Not before I fry you first!”
Statutory Disclaimer: This story has nothing to do with me or anyone in my family,or for that matter, anyone I know. Any resemblance to any person is strictly co-incidental. This is just something that had popped up from some corner in my warped brain. And Amigos, no jibes about this one either! Majorly inspired by ‘You’ve got mail’ and of course, Harish’s stories!