~Spero ergo sum~™

July 24, 2008

The Carousel Ride

Filed under: Life,Manic depression,Poetry,Rage,Sobriety — Teal @ 4:39 pm

 

I took a ride on this carousel
How giddy I’d get, time could only tell
Saw the others in front and to every side
On each face a smile, a twinkle on each eye

How I got here, is something I dont understand
How did I reach here, in no man’s land?
At the entrance , I was just like the others
Just as naive innocent, and clueless

The warm up to the ride was something rather inviting
With warm shades, pastel, some bright, some blinding
Then the carousel picked up pace, and before I knew
I sat wide awake on the ride, my seat the color blue

I looked around wildly to see, not a single face around
I stand in shock , heartbroken and dumbfound
So the ride was done, I had a ball
And now there’s nothing left, at all . . .

May 18, 2008

The day redolence died

Filed under: Crap!,Life,Manic depression,Poetry,Rage,Sobriety — Teal @ 11:02 am

It was at this very moment, this fraction
My mind became devoid of all distraction
Looking right through the shallow specimens
Of people , kith kin and friends

I have donned no cape, fought no crime,
Yet I suffer and do my time
I give and give and give in vain
For spending all the time on you, was just insane

Know at this moment, note this well
When in future you cry, time will only tell
Look across that junction, search for me
But that is not the place I will be

When you place you feet on terra firma
When you realise what all I have done
When you come to me, knowing you are the one who erred
When you want me back in your life, now filled with no fun

I will be in a much better place, much happier
With people who care and who actually matter
When you seek me with tears, at the junction
My train would’ve already left the station.

The fun times, the long talks the joys shared
Have long gone from my mind, and blurred
For you seem to have no time for me, my dear
And when you will, I wont be near.

April 2, 2008

My Karmic count

Filed under: Life,Manic depression,Poetry,Sobriety — Teal @ 11:17 pm

As a kid I’d thought,”What would I be?”
when i turn twenty three?
Will I be rich, will I be free?
Will I be grinning perennially with glee?

Wil I be famous, a celebrity?
Will I walk red carpets, whilst others scream?
Will I blow kisses in the air, and smile?
While people stand in lines, for miles?

Will I sing , and will the world hear?
Will the vox populi hold me dear?
Will I go on tour and spread delight?
Or will I laugh at my then state, and plight?

Will I be smart, will I shine?
Will I be blessed by the all pervading divine?
Will I grow strong , will I be bold
or break down distraught , and fold?

Will I be popular, will I be pretty?
Will I be considered capable and witty?
Or will they crash down on me, like a hawk….
Grinding me like stored flour , in stock?

Will I be honest and true, and virtuous?
Will I be deep, insightful and not superfluous?
Will my frankness be considered my asset?
Or dig me a grave, in my dissent?

Will my hard work go unnoticed, in vain
Will I stay stagnant, gather moss in pain
Will I hold back defiance, against evil?
Or will I fight for what’s right and not restrain?

Will I stay unfrayed in the face of injustice
Will I struggle through the odds, will I make it?
Will this under dog crawl through the dark tunnels
Onto the greener pastures and the oasis?

Now I look back on my childhood, and I smile
not a happy one, and i say this wistful rhyme
I guess it all had depended on a factor, called time
and bad karma will ensue, for all crime

March 7, 2008

God’s Anomaly

Filed under: Manic depression,Poetry,Rage,Sobriety,Whatever — Teal @ 10:44 pm

I dont believe in fairy tales
nor do i believe in sheer dumb luck
whether i like my life or not
this is were I am stuck

Belief crawled it’s way out of my mind
Faith lost and people unkind
During more pressing times these thoughts unwind
Looks like all the while I’ve been blind

Friends say I view through a stained glass
grief, rage, retribution I seldom let pass
Let go is a statement, one tells real easy
But arent the sane in the mad world, crazy?

Who I am? What do I seek?
Is a question all ask, from the brave to the meek
Seems like someone from above is to yet to tweak
with my fate, the worms held by my beak

Redundant to say, but the days drag on endlessly
All images and sounds mingle needlessly
The answer to my question, I have come to see
I am nothing, no one but god’s anomaly

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