~Spero ergo sum~™

September 30, 2007

(2) A hungry wail in the hail

Filed under: Sobriety,Stories,Whatever — Teal @ 11:30 am

“Big Deal.

Mascarenhas got demolished … Leave it to those prima donnas and pricks to make a deal out of it … and go to the nearest place to gorge or drink. I never needed them anyways. With my bird safely and snuggly tucked away in my garage, I watch now, and watch with wonder as the hailstorm showers small rocks of ice … demolishing and putting dents on every car in sight.

Hmmmm. Sometimes these things that we buy with the money we earn doing the things we hate the most are the only ones that seem to stick around. People seem to just come and go , like seasonal fruits. Momentary to the core.

Is everything in life a bargain?

I’ll like you if you like me. I’ll hang out with you, if you do the things I like. I’ll hangout with you all the more if we actually end up doing something worthwhile with the common hobbies that we have. When we are not doing anything worthwhile, we could always walk up to the nearest pub and get totally wasted. That again only counts if u stay sober enough after 7 straight shots. I know I can. Jeez, most ppl cant.
If despite the sick sychophantic act that you put up, I actually end up liking you, we might actually end up bonding … sheesh .. I honestly wonder who coined such a term or a concept!
If being with you exasperates me, or think I am pretty bored with who you are , or who I think you actually are, I will dwindle out on communication. You aint worth my time or my effort , once you like me…

Dont you even try to judge me. I represent the core of humanity. The sole purpose of our creation. Selfishness. I know there will be many people out there, wondering how the fuck can someone be so, well yeah, this is ME.

I am barenaked and open to everyone I see.

All the people I meet, dont mean a thing to me. I was under the impression that maybe at one point , at some point I might actually end up meeting someone who might make me think otherwise. But the bottom line is this.

Most of us, infact I would say all of us are spoilt brats, just dying to be pampered , dying to be doted upon others. shit … that is so pathetic if true. It makes me puke to think I was of that kind. Som made me feel this way, and opened my eyes to the other side. Thank you, you fucked up creep.

If you look good, have enough money and are “accomplished” enough, you’ll get enough company to keep you from boredom. The money can buy you your home theatre, your woofer car stereo and your shiny bike. The money can pave way to any vice you choose.

Lol … look me … getting all philo and shit. This world is full of fucked up losers and users.”

Ashok Sarangapani closed his journal, after a long perusal of his perfect cursive handwriting. He walked out into the snow on that blue monday morning.

He then found himself running 5 miles on a daily jog … watching everything with a smirk on his face.

Life has made a cynic out of me, he thought.

He took the 10 flights of stairs to the terrace. Everything else around him seemed so diminutive.

“The world is my terrace. The things , the people mean as much to me as these tiny things I see.”

He stretched out his hands and uttured a loud wail. The tears of anger streaming down his cheeks froze on his high cheek bones. He turned around to the asbestos sheet, now punctured with the near perfect dents of the hailstones.

Here’s to you Som, my dearest.Here’s to one fucked up life.

Ashok Sarangapani took the elevator back down and headed straight to work.


September 21, 2007


Filed under: Uncategorized — Teal @ 9:03 am

Those who want the link to the quiz .. can go straight to w3.myheritage.com.

September 18, 2007

The Amman of TVK Industrial Estate

Filed under: Amman,Girl Power!,Hinduism — Teal @ 11:43 pm

This is the picture of a small amman temple by the side of the every dusty and ever-so-comfortable roads of the TVK estate which lead me to my workplace. This statue reminds of the small statue from the movie “Amman” , which happens to be one of my all time favourite movies [Yes, enaku saami padamum pudikkum].

Her eyes seem to rage with the fury of a 1000 angry skies … kinda reminded me of the Kalighat Kali too 🙂

So put this one up.

September 17, 2007

The dawn of the lone white wolf

Filed under: Poetry,Sobriety,Wolf's Rain — Teal @ 7:05 pm

It wasn’t too way back, not too along ago,

I was born with the fur of white snow

Pride of my pack, on each face a glow

Little did I know, it was all meant to go


One fateful night as I rolled over the ground

Around me, my parent’s protective bound

A fire of destruction , of flora and fauna

From the evil ones of Jaguara


I was a lone little pup lost in the woods

Scared and ran for life, no water or food

To love none , to trust none , I could

no place to call my neighbourhood


Stumbled upon a forsaken town

where everything was upside down

Discovered my true purpose in life, a man

Through the blessed words of the shaman


Twas foretold, a longer and gruelling journey

past all lands and the end of the seas

Bracing heartbrakes, brazen like ice

I was meant to open ‘Paradise’


As I started this journey , the world around died

Men killed , women and children cried

All that was good was gone, ruthless and chill

Where was the beautiful flower fille?


As I stumbled upon on her , I found a love

Something as old as the deep rooted mangroves

She was frail, powerful and her existance wondorous

She was all I needed in my exodus


Tsume , the grey and Toboe the pup

Hege the glutton, Blue as cute as buttercups

Soon joined me on this hopeless trail

Days dragged on, sanity derailed ….


Lord Darcia lashed out a numerous times

Forsaked by aristrocrat’s own paradise

Never thought twice about henious crimes

For Harmona, or for his metamorphosis


The traitor almost had his way, he killed

Toboe and Blue lay still, baring cuspids

Hege stayed on till he could no more

Bled proudly through the bore by Tsume’s fangs


Twas in my destiny, I could see

The lone wolf to complete this journey

I was the chosen one, orphaned again

Until I was shaken by Cheza’s wail


She withered right in front of my eyes

A beautiful dame, now a withered flower

I felt the polar daunting cracks on the surface of ice

She died in my arms saying “See you in paradise”


Darcia’s form was not his own, he was the fallen one

Tried to change the aftermath of the red moon

Walked toward the end of the line, with lust in his eyes

Thinking he would be the one to open the gates


Towards the end of the walk he choked

His legs shivered, his voice broke

Cheza’s poison destroyed him inside

The vile aristrocrat perished , left behind an eye


With all that left of my grand fight

with the man bearing an wolf’s eye

I gave up my soul and everything in sight

Fell onto the ocean bed, ‘neath the artic ice


What Jaguara denied to whole of creation , I gave

A new hope, a new beginning devoid of any kind of slaves

The immortal legend of any desert, of any turf

I am Kiba, The lone white wolf.




September 15, 2007

I’m Least Surprised =D

Filed under: Ganesha,Life,Whatever,Wolf's Rain — Teal @ 4:52 am

Which Wolf’s Rain character are you most like?


You are Kiba!(Pronounced kee-ba)Kiba, in Japanese, means “fang”. The (more or less) leader of the “pack”, Kiba is an arctic wolf who follows his instincts towards Paradise. When he was young, his pack and family were slaughtered when the forest where he lived was burned to the ground by Jagara’s troops. He was then raised by a shaman who told him that he had a purpose, explaining why the forest had sheltered him from the flames. The shaman told him that he would have a great journey ahead of him, and that journey was to find paradise. Kiba begins his quest for paradise in the hope that there he will finally find peace. It is revealed later in the series that he is in fact the chosen one who is destined to find and open paradise. He tends to be distrustful toward humans, and in the early episodes is reluctant to take a human form, even when it’s more convenient. He also has an attraction to Cheza, which may only be due to the fact that she can lead them to paradise.
Take this quiz!

On a totally different note, today is my sweetheart’s birthday! Happy Budday my dearesht Pilluuuuuuu :-*

You bring sunshine to every day … you make my life worthwhile! 😀

September 9, 2007

Of Social networking & Psychos

Filed under: Life,Sobriety — Teal @ 12:50 pm

This particular case has stolen the limelight of most media channels for quite sometime now. It is shocking that people are not sparing even children and aiming for young adolescens who are totally unaware of the big bad world out there.

When I was introduced to the same “social networking” website towards the fag end of 05, it was initially a great way to spend time. I found most of my buddies from the 10th and 12th grade , it was a fad at college. People at class talked about it. There were communities – intending to club like minded people to discuss hobbies, beliefs what all and what not. After hearing one too many cases of abuse of this site, not to mention the plight of the victims involved, I am plainly shocked.

There was a 2hrs talk show / debate in one of the popular news channels where I heard shocking news that 12 year olds were spending 20 mins a day in such sites! Jeez-us! My niece had asked me a couple of months back about this site- its +ve and -ve aspects and the like …. Like any responsible 20+ person I strictly advised her not to join the site or add people she didnt know. It did hurt me a little inside to do that …. because I had done the same.

I was at that point of time pretty fascinated with this “thing” and was surprised to find people who liked somethings that I liked and what all and what not. The point is this – I have added strangers and made friends with them. So far they seem to be normal people.

Now dont get me wrong. I am not taking sides with any of these sites. Maybe it’s because god is watching out for me, or maybe my dumb luck that I did not end up meeting or befriending creeps. Now these cases are gentle reminders that tell me to open my eyes to the other disgusting side of these sites.

I had joined a job seekers community in one of these sites and that landed me my first job. I am at an MNC and doing pretty good. If it werent for that place / page I’d have never known of the walkin and god only knows when I’d have ever got a job.

As I was watching this program on the news channel with my mom, she was pretty aghast too. But the bottomline is this … if you do anything and everything with full information to your parents, nothing will ever go wrong with you. She was completely aware of my use of these sites and how I got my job too.

There is a saying in tamil which literally translates to this – “Even too much of amrut is vish “ – meaning even an overdose of something really good can turn into something really horrible. My grief goes to all victims of the misuse of such websites.

And a one-finger salute to all you assholes out there, trying to ruin other people’s lives. You all will surely rot in hell scum mongers!

September 6, 2007

Michael Buble’s Everything!!!

Filed under: Misc,Music,Whatever — Teal @ 6:02 pm
You're a falling star
You're the getaway car
You're the line in the sand
When I go to far
You're the swimming pool
On an august day
And you're the perfect thing to say

And you play it coy but it's kinda cute
Oh when you smile at me you know exactly what you do
Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true
Cause you can see it when I look at you

And in this crazy life
And through these crazy times
It's you
It's you
You make me sing
You're every line
You're every word
You're everything

You're a carousel
You're a wishing well
And you light me up
When you ring my bell
You're a mystery
You're from outer space
You're every minute of my every day

And I can't believe that I'm your man
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can
Whatever comes our way

We'll see it through
And you know that's what our love can do

And in this crazy life
And through these crazy times
It's you
It's you
You make me sing
You're every line
You're every word
You're everything

And so la la la la
So la la la la

And in this crazy life
And through these crazy times
It's you
It's you
You make me sing
You're every line
You're every word
You're everything

You're every song
And I sing along
Cause you're my everything

Yeah, yeah

So la la la la
So la la la la

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