~Spero ergo sum~™

June 19, 2006

Of whining and whiners

Filed under: Humour — Teal @ 6:18 am

Whining is …

  • Habitually complaining
  • Talk in a tearful manner
  • Complain whiningly
  • Unable to relax or be still
  • Being Querulous … yeah yeah – Courtesy : Wordweb.

Whining is this state of mind in which people are not able to proceed or think ahead. All whiners do is crib, complain, use profanities and the like. All we have is this one life. People always get all preachy crap like “Life is short, make it sweet.” So who all whine anyway?

You know you are a whiner when …

  • Your playlist includes ~

Everybody hurts by REM, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Runaway Train by Soul Asylum, Wishful Thinking by Duncan Shiekh.

  • You hate to get up in the morning.
  • You crib.
  • You hate your routine, humdrum life and feel that your very existence is freaking monotonous.
  • You crib.
  • You hate everything all around you and try to cut off links with everyone.
  • A la, you become a recluse.
  • Your facial expressions are the equivalent ones of Peter Gibbons from “Office Space”. [God, I have to write something about movie soon. Mike Judge is a genius.]
  • You crib.
  • You call up your best friend and have hour long conversations 3 times a day.
  • You crib.

Whiners are …

Most professional whiners I know are extremely capable and intelligent people who have ended up qualifying themselves in a field that is as interesting to them as the concept of snail farms and snail races. Hey! I am not insulting snail farm owners now… don’t get me wrong you guys.

Sometimes people end up in such a standstill situation that the whole stoic frame drives them crazy. And all they can do is whine to vent out all of their frustration to all their and near friends. There are two kinds of whiners – Seasonal Whiners and Habitual Whiners

Seasonal whiners are those who aren’t whiney by nature. Circumstances make them so. Once things get sorted out, they back to their usual go getter selves. Habitual whiners are bloody carriers. They carry this pathogen popularly known as the Parisitus Whinerus . You see a habitual whiner, you do what I do. RUN. They cannot and they never stop complaining. They just can’t!

The worst affected people are ….

Unfortunately, friends of the seasonal whiners are the worst affected. So are the family members. They have to listen to endless depressing crap. That is of course, until the pathogen’s effect wears off. Then they have the double satisfaction of making their friends happy as well as getting rid of the whiney phase of their buddies.

Allrighty …. So how do seasonal whiners deal with a mild attack of Parisitus Whinerus??

Sadly, Parisitus Whinerus has no medical cure. You have to let it all go. You have to find and fixate on something in life that makes it enjoyable. Something that brings a smile on your face. All our lives we are told what to do by the people around us. Parents tell us what courses to take in college. School maims us and traumatizes us to ends we cannot articulate. It’s human to whine. Nobody’s perfect Dammit!!!

It’s upto the victims to deal with their whining phase. The best remedy would be to vent out all their anger in some way or the other, or of course have iterative cribbing sessions with those who can understand their state.

Damn Simple.

Australian kid: Don’t try to bend the spoon, but just try to realize the truth.

Neo: What truth?

Australian kid: There is no spoon.

Life has a flow. It has this lucid fluid like motion. Sometimes u go upstream, sometimes downstream. But you are always on the move. Never Stoic. Never Stagnant. Realise this truth. You may whine today, but you will definitely win tomorrow. Sometimes, even cribbing to your friends may not help. It is up to you to realize this universal truth. Let it all go , or should I say like the quacks in reel life never fail to repeat – “T.I.G”. [Trust. In. God]

Trust in yourself. Trust in God. The former being all the more important.

All winners were whiners once. Infact most winners I know are discreet members of Whiners Anonymous…

WHO is currently working on making the world whine free by the year 2050. Kofi Annan is currently approaching celebrities to raise funds for the realization of the same.

Remember, even Neo was whiny once.

June 9, 2006

The Art of testimonial writing

Filed under: Humour — Teal @ 10:29 pm

This is a part of the awe-inspiring discourse given by the great/ unsurpassed /Sri Sri Sri Tealananda B.Tech IT B-) … And let me tell you, most of the great gurus out there are technically qualified too…So here goes moi percept of testimonial writing and all of its intricacies… And yeah, the logo was designed by me too! 😀

A Testimonial is:

Noun: ‘testimonial’
a. Something that serves as evidence
b. Something given or done as an expression of esteem
c. Something that recommends (or expresses commendation) of a person or thing as worthy or desirable
Adjective: ‘testimonial’
a. Expressing admiration or appreciation
b. Of or relating to or constituting testimony Courtesy: WordWeb 😀
At this point it becomes essential to mention that Tealananda is in no way affiliated to WordWeb whatsoever.

A Testimonial is written because:
You are bored.
You want some one to write something just as nice [or in some cases, just as damaging 😛]
No, NO. The call for a good testimonial doesn’t make one a needy loser! 😉
[At least not in Orkut , eeshhkk … people have written some really nice stuff about others ending the testimonial with “where is my treat for lying like this? 😛” or “Ok Dude, now it’s your turn to write me one 🙂

Teal’s universal law of testimonials:
“The number of lines in one’s testimonial is inversely proportional to the level of knowing the person who is writing the damn thing for them”
Hell I can tell you guys. My best friend has written one of the shortest testimonials, ever.
Not because they donot care for you, it’s just that they know sooo much about you, cramming years of knowledge in a small amount of space is very hard.

Teal’s 1st corollary to the universal law of testimonials:
“The level of sweetness in the testimonial towards the person is again inversely proportional to the level of the writer closeness of that individual.”
Lol. Need I say more?

Teal’s 2nd corollary to the universal law of testimonials:
“The ease with which you can spot fakers is directly proportional to your expertise in the art of testimonial writing.”

Teal’s 3rd corollary to the universal law of testimonials:
“Judging a person by their testimonials is directly proportional to the level of stupidity of the person reading it.”

At this point I have to interject. I am not associated in any way whatsoever to the genius who is Orkut Buyukokten or his marvelous creation. [Sigh!] The dude is making load of moolah when people like me while away time. 😦 which is quite a lot of time, let me tell you…

Winding up today’s session with something exclusive for the blogjunta of Tealspace, Shhh….

Teal’s secret hidden corollary of testimonials:
The sweetest and the best testimonials are inversely proportional to the level of your expectation – i.e the best testimonials are those that come out of the blue 🙂

Nota Bene: I am approaching the 50 post mark soon. Yup, my own personal milestone of vettiness. I would like Tealspace regulars and all of you blogjunta to gimme suggestions about what to write for the landmark post.You could also tell me which of my posts you think are the best, or also list down your favourites. 🙂
Comment away amigos, comment away … until later Hasta Manana!

June 6, 2006

When Boredom Strikes

Filed under: Poetry — Teal @ 4:19 pm

“What do we do now”???
The students despair
When boredom strikes;
It is really rare….

When we stay awake
Pay attention, take notes
Search for ‘Knowledge’ we take
When things make sense

But what to do, on
a sweaty Thursday afternoon
We fret, we fume, we frown
Our eyelids droop down

Our pens drawl away on our notes
Our heads drop to the desk
We forget our worlds in this mode
Hell, you neednt even check!!!

So what do we do now
When boredom strikes?
How do we fight to stay awake?
How silly is our plight?

We get lectures and more lectures
Prophesying our doom
In the semester exams [I hope not]
Every weekday’s afternoon…

We pull ourselves up, although we try
Our “Heavy” lunches pull us down
We await the time when the siren rings
Oh! What a joy it brings!!!

Teal’s Note: This poem was written by me in Vth semester, if I remember right – DSP classIlichaVaaiii was taking class and was predicting a 100% fail result for our class… LOL …

June 1, 2006

What you have is beautiful

Filed under: Poetry — Teal @ 7:05 pm

What is to be made of
a gloomy afternoon; the sun
scorching all in sight
tanning all, or tanning none?

what is to be made of the dew
when it kisses the flowers
at twilight, when the world awakes
alas! those who appreciate this are few

What is to be made of conversation?
With long lost friends from afar
When you recall all that you spoke
Amidst deathly silence, devoid of jokes

What you have at this moment is beautiful
The joys measured and unmeasured, wonderful
But we never know until it’s too late
Only when we are left burning at our stakes

What is to be made of the rainbow?
So perfect in shape, so divine
Spreading across the horizon in the sky
bringing a smile when it catches your eye

For now I’ve begun to wonder, is it too late
Have I forgotten to taste mirth?
Will I ever experience all of this again ?
In this life, or in my next birth?

What you have at this moment is beautiful
The joys measured and unmeasured, wonderful
But we never know until it’s too late
Only when we are left burning at our stakes..

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