~Spero ergo sum~™

December 5, 2006

Of Grossness and gorging

Filed under: Humour — Teal @ 1:58 pm

Most people end up doing this on a daily basis.
People end up doing this as a last resort of hanging out.
No thanks to my wonderful work timings I get to eat around the clock …. and by around the clock i mean throughout the 24 hours. Ordering for food in the hotel near by to place [which under normal circumstances i wouldnt even dreaming of visiting in my life]

IS it the apprehension of being a pure veggie eating at a non veg hotel?
Wat if they mixed ladles ??? Wat if they put chicken stock in veg soup??? [the latter is something i had heard from my school buddy who was doing her nutrition and dietrics internship at a reputed 5 star hotel in gud old chennai pattinam]
Fear engulfed me. Paranoia tried to extend it’s monopoly over all my senses.
And then the primitive need that drives most living beings took me over.
Hunger.

NO. NO. For my fellow veggies and my well wishers who dont even want me to eat egg [read elder sis] I didnt touch non veg. It is something i can never imagine myself doing that. Me and my friends frequent a joint where veg and non veg buffet are kept at a significant distance. Which makes me feel relieved, I must say.

Now most junta from the previous generation dont prefer eating outside for many reasons, all of which I cannot list down right now. But let me tell you guys something. Through out my college days [man, they just got over. Now dont u guys think i am a relic or something :P] I used to eat a lot outside. Frequented a lot of popular veggie joints around my city.

Once you order for the food right, here are a few games that came to my mind.

Something I am sure every homo homo sapien has played through out his lifetime.

How long will it take for my dish to arrive????

[Please note the solution to the above is not available in Shakuntala Devi or R.S Aggarwal, despite the printing mistakes]
Sri Sri Tealananda replies~
The answer to this being very very simple. The time it takes for your dish to arrive is inversely proportional to the magnitude of your hunger.
For an instance~
Go shopping in T.Nagar on a saturday or sunday evening [I DARE YOU TO] and drop by at any restaurant. Find a place to sit. [That being a herculean task in itself]
Order a dish.
Find it delivered to your seat in no less than 2 hours. 😀

Panner in Panneer-Butter-Masala-Hunt~
This is a variant of the popular children’s game “Treasure Hunt”.
One of the people seated at the head of the table shud keep track of the time. The others must dig into to the sabji’s container to find the mysterious location of the panner. Finding Tomato pulp or Onion pieces are not counted.
But finding other substances may land you bonus points.
Other variants include Veggies-in-Veg Kadai-Masala, Chicken-in-ChickenMasala… and the like.

Calculate the elasticity of the naan/parotta/chappathi~
For all you geeks out there, who said you dont belong anywhere?
You could always determine the elasticity of naan and the snap threshold of the parotta … based on the timely judgements of the facts that the batter for both would be made even before sunrise the same day. [Not to mention that the gravy for the side-dishes cud be the ones left over from yesterday]

Which is spoiled? The side-dish or the main-dish????~
This is probably the most popular game played by my office buddies. The poor souls ordered a chicken biriyani from the nearby hotel [let us call it KV -> Kuppandi Vilas for now].
Not only does KV charge as per the normal elite hotel rates, they also deliver the food very quickly. Just one hour after you order. The secret task hidden in this game is the endurance. It is a persisting parameter.
By the time the food arrives, my buddies are nearly dead.
And then … the enigma continues ….
Last when I saw those 2 poor souls, they were still in a dilemma.
Wat a grippping game eh?

Eating at Kuppandi Vilas has become a necessity for most people in my office. I for one will stay as far away from it as possible.

Teal’s Note: This is not intended to dissuade all those of you who eat outside.
Nor is it to rub salts into the wounds of those who eat at places like Kuppandi Vilas without a choice.

After keen observation of grossness [not to mention gorging] Tealananda very eloquently surmises~

***Mom’s food is the best***

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10 Comments »

  1. Mom’s food is the best…
    ???
    did you tell her?

    Comment by Rainbow — December 6, 2006 @ 2:15 am | Reply

  2. hey!!!
    this was relly funny!!!
    I too think Mom’s food is the best!!!

    preetha!

    Comment by preetha — December 6, 2006 @ 4:43 am | Reply

  3. Mom’s food is good agreed.. but when it comes to eating out if u r lucky enough to chance upon a proper place then nothing like tht.. one cant expect mom to try out all kind of cuisines right??

    Comment by Hell's Angel — December 6, 2006 @ 6:49 am | Reply

  4. LOL! long time since I read sthn so funny.. dhanks! and yeah..
    Mom’s food is the best-est-est! 😀

    Comment by The optimist from utopia — December 6, 2006 @ 9:12 am | Reply

  5. yuppu…. mom’s food is the best!! but I must say, sometimes even I cook good…. he he…..

    intha non-veggie place-la veggie dish, ladle issues ellam naan paarkkarathe vittutten!! it jus adds to ur worries!!

    Comment by kuttichuvaru — December 8, 2006 @ 7:54 pm | Reply

  6. @ Rainbow:
    I will eventually .. ippove adellam solla koodathu 😛
    @ Preetha:
    Thanks a lot da. Keep visiting for more funny posts.

    Comment by Trinity Teal™ — December 11, 2006 @ 12:28 pm | Reply

  7. @ HEll’s Angel:
    Well of course, but if only our moms could cook watever we liked, then joints like KV would shut down!!
    @ The Optimist:
    Dhanks to u too … looking fwd to some funny posts from u as well.

    Comment by Trinity Teal™ — December 11, 2006 @ 12:30 pm | Reply

  8. @ Kuttichuvaru:
    It is impossible to see such things when u are abroad, we shud just follow to watever we can and hope we dont mix up anyways o-<

    Comment by Trinity Teal™ — December 11, 2006 @ 12:31 pm | Reply

  9. @Trinity : I don’t really agree with you. Sure, mom’s food is great, but outside food isn’t as bad as you make it out to be. Its all about picking the right place to eat 🙂 When I was in Madras, I used to eat out a lot, and never got sick of it.

    Comment by Brat — December 11, 2006 @ 7:12 pm | Reply

  10. @Brat:
    Maybe u shud try Kuppandi Vilas sometime .. then u wud beg to disagree 🙂

    Comment by Trinity Teal™ — December 12, 2006 @ 5:57 pm | Reply


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