Lo behold … the might of a woman

Lo behold, the mother of nature
mother of all creation, pure and divine
loving one and all of her offsprings
An unrequitted love that a mater brings

Oh Woman! Look alive, for you
heal the sick when they are blue
wipe away sadness and tears
instilling courage and removing fears

Oh Woman! Look alive, for you
consummate all that is serene
the love of a lady and naivette of a baby
cleaning the wounds of the sick and the needy

Oh Woman! Look alive, for you
are no longer the dispenser of the blue
The devil’s own, you have become
burnt in aisles, stake for crimes undone

Oh Woman! Look alive, for you
are blessed with courage so true
your faith backs you up, your might
anhilates many a enemy in sight

Oh Woman! Look alive, for such
sadness and bondage is your plight
wedded to another when childhood is bright
robbed of an innocence colourful and light

Oh Woman! Watch out for the blithe
the society’s neglect at your sad state
Grit your teeth and brace all abuse
“As a woman, what else is your use?”

Oh Woman! Resurrect your ancient power
For you are the beginning and the end
Unleash your wrath, never spare the scorn
on animals and others for the lives torn

Oh Woman! Look alive, for your
Spirit soars in the sky so high
The world is your oyster , take it
For there is no other who deserves it.

Of foresight and foolishness

Plan plan and plan. All that a normal homo sapien does throughout his life [apart from eating and sleeping.] is planning. Everyone has this magic clarity of what to do next with their lives. The next step. A sure and steady modus operandi. Last weekend, me and my gang of friends crashed a friend’s place. Her parents were still home. And so the typical conversation between middle-aged and overanxious parents and overconfident and “reckless” 20 somethings ensued.
The game was simple. Each one, tell one , 2 , 3 or as many plans they had for their short term plans ahead. Not so surprising. Most my buddies, infact all of them had plans of a PG. Then came my turn.

“S, ena plans maa unaku?”

Hmmm.

This is not the first time I was asked this question. Wonder why people push you to move onto something else when you’re just done with a degree and are just a few months old in the real world. So the gang hushed in pin-drop silence and look at me. In cartoon like fashion, rather like in all those sports movies wherein ppl watch the underdog do a slam-dunk in slow-motion or the underdog punching the daylights of the opponent, who was on the winning side.

I was in neither state, and nor was I sitting unsettledly. So I spoke of my one-point-plan. And we got back to work. Thankfully marriage didnt pop into this conversation, which gives me hope of a mindset change and an unbiased perspective for our parents and our elders. Heck, I am just 21, not a middle aged management oldie.

Anyhoo, comparisons apart, my friend was teasing me a lot for my great plans [not to mention non existant plans]. At this point , I might not have an MS or an MBA in mind. Because I dont have to~

• Reduce dowry amounts. [not planning to give any]
• Go the legally brunette approach of pursuing the love of my life.
• Increase my non existant G.Q [Geek Quotient].
• No pressure from my folks.

Anyways I honestly wonder how and most importantly why, I am even typing all of this.
Wonder when I will stop jumping up and down for seeing some arbid guy on TV for a flash who doesnt even know I exist … Hmmmm …..
Coming back to the title, sometimes people end up making foolish decisions, or hang on to foolish and idiotic things, refusing to let go. But isnt the past the best prophet for the future?
[Yeah yeah, I am a regular orkutter]

Sometimes I wished it was as crystal clear. Sometimes I wished it wasnt so obfuscated or amoebean. Wonder when I will ever sing “Clarity” actually meaning every word of it , and not just screech from the privy.

Of Monday mornings and the blues

“Aaargh!!! ” is the first thought that pops into my head on monday mornings.
Duty calls. 5 whole days of work before I ever set my eyes on sound sleep or ever find time to practice my guitar. Einstein is one of the scientists whom I admire the most. I can relate to his findings the most as compared to the other geniuses.

The average software engineer’s definition of relativity would go something like this~
” Watching a movie or lazing around on saturday after waking up royally by 11 or 12. Catching up with buddies on sunday and realising that the weekend has vanished and flashed by like lightning!!! Phbbttt … although considering that scenario number 2 , i.e the very formidable weekdays seem to drag on endlesslyyyy …”.
The longest being a monday.

You know the day is monday when~

1. The first thing you do after reaching office [which is very centrally located in timbaktu] is wash your face and reach for a cuppa.
2. The clock in ur desktop strikes 12:00 .
3. You think to yourself, “Yippee , lunch in 1 hours.”
4. You slip out of your place to browse for a while.
5. The clock in ur desktop still shows 12:00 am.
6. You shrug your shoulders and go out for another cuppa coffee.
7. Bump into your friend from the ABC dept [serendipity?, I think so ] and yakk for a while.
8. The clock in ur desktop shows 12:05 am.
9. “Has time bloody coagulated????”
10. Your PL pings you. Pings you with a purpose, for a change.
11. You finally get loads of work, and your eyeballs find their way to the clock.
12. It dutifully strikes 1:00pm.
13. You get a deadline of an hour to finish up the work, while the pointy haired boss happily heads to the cafe [#$%&]

Statistics prove that the frustration graph peaks on monday and then stabilises throughout the rest week. Could that be more surprising??? A survey taken by “V for Vetti” magazine proves that 8 out of 10 software engineers miss out on an early lunch and have to cut down on snack breaks every monday.

The secretary of the Benched S/W Engineers association addressed the press at a conference early today morning that the software community is in it’s entirety totally and absolutely appalled at the plight of it’s brethren and are all set to launch a protest march protesting against pointy haired bosses everywhere. The board members of the BSA are set to propose a 20-point plan on weekday-wise load and submit to pointy haired bosses in all leading S/W concerns.

Meanwhile Mr.Sidumoonji Silphonsa, the president of the P.H.B.A [pointy haired boss association] has refused to speak to the press junta gathered outside a leading a tech park and denied any involvement or action which has lead to the sudden spurring of action of the B.S.A

Amidst all this chaos that surrounds us, we lone bespectacled software engineers, sit in the topmost floor of our company, looking through very crisp and precise code of a million codes and try to fix issues when the DB and Main Server are running a contest on which one will falter with greater frequency.

**sigh**

The unsung warriors caught in corporate slavery!

Of nightmares and night shifts

“Kutti, where do you work ma?”, asks some Arbid Maama. [Maama~ tamil for uncle]
Me~ **grrr .. this is atleast better than being asked which school la?** “I work at Dumbisys, uncle”
“What timings ma?”
“That varies uncle. We kind of alternate between regular and night shift timings when required.”
Arbid Maama successfully scoffs and gives a pretentious look of concern [wonder how], apart from clicking toungue in sympathy. “Call Centre aa kozhandaii??” [Kozhandaii~ kiddo in tamil]
Me~ @#%#&^$#& okies .. take a deep breath …. “Uncle no I dont work in a call centre, you see . it is like this …bla bla ” and take him through a whole lotta tech lingo that the poor uncle is left blinking like a babboon, and successfully hush him B-)
So anyways , this was my plight during my intial days at work. It took a whole lot of elaboration to tell these ppl that I am not workin in a BPO since they were accustomed to the usual 9-5 timings of bank work or goverment office work. We software folks scoff at them , claiming that we arent that ‘lethargic’, or slow to work as these folks.
But analyse this. We need 7 cups of coffee to keep our brains working .. forget lubrication or ignition, coffee has become fuel for the brain. Take it from a self confessed coffee addict , offspring of appalled parents.
And who said we people need to take part in reality shows to test our true physical prowess?
When you join a software concern, assuming you are not in bench or any government like concern, you will be tested and trialled. Either you might be loaded as hell , like the good ol’ management oldies, fancily put it as “Over utilisation of resources” or unable to strike “work-life balance”…. forget work-life …. striking a balance between sanity and lunacy is strenous enough!
During my initial days at work, I had to work nights 2 weeks a month … and those days were real fun. The initial warping of the body clock was real vexating but when i got accustomed to that it was kinda fun.
We used to take 25min coffee breaks for every hour and still finish up on time!
One fine day [or should I say night] after watching Exorcism of Emily Rose, I drove to work and parked my vehicle. The service lift was closer to the parking lot than the elevators.
So I thought, wat the hell, might as well give that a shot.
That just made me realise, I am the uncrowned queen of bad decisions.
The service lift got stuck in between the 4th and 5th floor due to a power cut.
So Imagine all of the following~

• It is 10:30 in the night
• You hve just finished watching a horror movie
• Your lift gets stuck up in between 2 top floors.
• You are alone in the lift.
• It is PITCH DARK.

The movie wasnt so scary, and I got rescued very quickly, after the workers decided they couldnt bear 20 mins of incessant banging on the lift door. So when we came down for our first coffee break, my friend and I start chatting as always. ABC is a real scaredy cat. DEF is a real prankster.
We started talking about my weird experience and thanks to DEF, the topic drifted to the world of our ghoulish buddies.
ME~ “Hey you know jhalak dikhla jaa is banned in some village in gujrat, because people get possessed by spirits on hearing that??”
ABC~ “Hey shut up! Dont talk about all that .. let talk about something else “
DEF~ gives devilish grin.
We 3 are hushed by sudden gargling noises from the coffee machine. … ABC turns pale .. DEF starts mimickin villaneous laughter and before you know it .. Voila!!!! .. POWER CUT!
**Amidst the 20 seconds of pitch darkness, a cold and extremely clammy hand grabs my hand …***
Me~” Hey ABC, its ok!”
When the power comes back on .. we see a shadow at the door … that does it for ABC [who looked as if she was going to burst , outta supressing all those screams] .. “come … come …”and drags me out of the cafe and runs as if there was a ghost at her heels!!!
When we await for the elevator on the right side, the one on the left suddenly opens … and we see a faded white, wispy apparition on the inner wall of the lift!
ABC rushes for the stairs .. and I am rolling on the floor , laughing!!!
So much for a person wearing a white salwar and running away from her own reflection.